Harder to breath
by JosieEvans44
Summary: Third song fic! Goes to the song harder to breath by Maroon 5. Read and find out. Spunky Lily, controlling James. A lot more sexual at some places than my other stories, not recommended for younger viewers. (COMPLETE)


Artist: Maroon 5

Song: Harder To Breathe

Harder to breathe

A song fic. By Josie G. Evans

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"Ugh, your such an asshole Potter!" yelled Lily to a very smug looking James.

"Hey, I didn't do anything, if I want to have a threesome of some kind, I'm a loud. It's not my fault if you don't knock before coming in." protested James, a large smile playing on his lips.

Oh how she wished to throw something to that large messy head of his and wipe off that annoying grin. How did he always seem to make her angry with the simplest of things? "I only came in here looking for Remus, you seen him?" she asked a disgusted look on her face as James continued his 'sport'.

"Lover boy? Check the library, after all it is were the two of you always are. I don't get it, is screwing off in the library behind a bunch of old dusty books a turn on to you or something? I mean if your gonna do it, don't be a whore who does it in a public place. Besides if Remus is telling the truth, your loud." he said jumping off the bed, wearing nothing but a pair of black silk boxer's that accented his perfectly tonned body. He was trying to run away from Lily who was trying to knock his lights out, with help from her wand. James, who hadn't been looking where he was going, slipped on a sock and went sprawling to the ground. Lily, whom was right behind him, was surprised by his sudden stop and the two ended up in a tangle of arms and legs, as Lily still tried to hit every inch of James she could.

"Ahhh! Get your fat arse of me Red, I can't breath!" teased James. That hit a nerve with Lily and agravated her more, if that was possible.

"See ya around you womanizing prat." said Lily as she maned to get off from the now wildly dancing James. It wasn't her best curse, but the spell wouldn't wear off till later that night.

"This isn't over red! And I'm not a man WHORE!" he yelled as she slammed the door to his dormatory.

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_How dare you say that my behavior is unacceptable So condescending unnecessarily critical I have the tendency of getting very physical So watch your step cause if I do you'll need a miracle_

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James looked there way, a look of pure disgust on his face. It was bad enough Remus was making out like crazy right in front of him, while he tried studying, but to be snogging little miss perfect Evans, was an other. Why did his best friend have to go totally bonkers for his worst nemesis? He felt betrayed! And why should he stand for it? He hated Evans more than Snape who ironically enough had never done anything to him till he started bugging him in the middle of their first year.

"Hey Red! your hair's on fire."

"Your dick's still in your pants."

"Your killing Remus with your fat arse."

"Your cheap bimbo is off snogging Snape."

"Bitch!"

"Womanizing asshole!"

"You don't even deserve to be with Remus, he's too good for you."

"Ah what's wrong? Your whores realized what a player you were and left you for someone better? Is that why your cock is still in your pants and your doing homework, on a _firday_? If we're bothering you, go somewhere else, you don't have to be next to us. You're a big boy Potter, go join your fan club."

"Maybe I will Red." he added with a large smile as he made his way to a group of girls and immediately started groping and making out with them. The look on her face was enough to make him feel satisfied.

"Common." said Remus as he grabbed Lily's hand and led her to his dormroom.

Making Lily mad, always made him feel accomplished. He just _loved_ doing so. Her large green eyes would become ablaze, almost a different shade of green. He hated green, especialy the dark emerald green her eyes always seemed to turn when she either gets angry or sees him. He sometimes hated to be the one to make her eyes turn that hideous shade of green or to make her angry. 'But she looks so hot when she is.' his brain argued. 'Wait! Did I just say what I think I said? No, no, no! That's not what I meant. She's...she's ugly and...she can be really nice and caring. She's almost like a two faced person, as the expression goes. A split personality. He hated her so much. Her goody two shoes nature, her manly persona, her sense of individuality, her intelligence and love for sports. It was bad enough she has to go to Hogwarts, but to also be in Gryffindor? Talk about cruel irony. No one! I repeat, no one! Beats James Harold Potter! Succeeding in the process to make him look like a fool. Just wish I could get rid of her! This fucking school isn't big enough for the both of us! I'll have to do something about her, she's poisoning my life, a stupid little imperfection in the school's walls. I quote the great band, Pink Floyd: An other brick in the wall. It's what she'll be when I'm finished with her. It's time to take action! Not that I haven't done so before, I merely meant in a while.

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_You drain me dry and make me wonder why I'm even here This Double Vision I was seeing is finally clear You want to stay but you know very well I want you gone Not fit to fuckin' tread the ground that I am walking on_

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"Hey Evans! I never knew!" he said mockingly.

Lily just stared back at him, her face void of all expression. 'Here it comes.' he thought. 'The abussal of her verbal lash from hell.' He waited for her witty remarks or even for her to curse him to last Friday. He waited, and waited. 'What? No witty response? The hell is going on.' he thought. He looked at her, and for the briefest of moments, her perfectly neutral mask broke, only to reveal sadness. It was so brief, that James almost missed it. He was positive no on else had noticed it, as he was really the only one who was studying and waiting for her reaction. All of a sudden, she turned around and left, with no indifference to the world and what had just happened.

He stood there, rooted to the spot, with a look of shock pasted to his face. He suddenly regained his composure, not wanting others to see him looking concered."Well, I guess this means the fun's over. Move it along you bloody prats." he said as he walked out the two large doors Lily had just went through, which would bring him outside.

It was mid November, the white snow formed a large blanket over the trees and never ending grounds of Hogwarts. 'She's crazy,' he thought, 'It's freezing out here! And she left without a cloak! She'll catch a cold or even hypothermia and it'll be all my fault, I'll be responsible if she dies. Why did I have to try to get even on such a stupid little thing? I should had shrugged it away, but no, my stubbornest had to get the better of me. Her remarks of late have been kinda lame and they didn't seem to have the same 'fire-burning-whip-sensation-on-ones-bare-flesh', as they usually did. He should have known something was up. Evans never backed away from a challenge. Plus, every time he saw her, she had that weird empty and lost look that seemed permanently etched on her face. Damn my stubbornest! There she is.'

She was sitting under the large weeping willow she loved so much. He knew so because he had once heard her refer about it to Remus. "It seems to cry, it's vines reaching for the ground, trying to suck at it's happiness, to see what it feels like to be happy and loved. All the despair and sadness in the world goes into them, it's why there are so many." she had said.

Her arms were rapped protectively around her legs. She was looking out to the dark lake, so lost in thoughts she hadn't even heard him coming. The squid's tentacles played on the water's surface, tasting what was left of the fresh air, for it wasn't to see any of it once the lake froze over. She seemed to find condolence in the weeping willow.

"Evans, what are you doing? You'll catch a cold, get your fat arse inside the castle." he said exasperated.

"What do you want Potter?" she yelled, suddenly getting up to her feet with the speed and agility of a rabbit. Her green eyes, ablaze as he had never seen them before, they were almost a black color. He could have sworn that she was an exact reproduction of a very frightening picture of Medusa, he had seen when he was younger, leaving out the snakes for hair of course.

"Came back here so you could make fun of me? Haven't you made my life miserable enough?" she continued at his silence.

"Hey Fire Bug, I didn't think you would get this angry. Here, you'll get hypothermia you moronic idiot." he said handing out his cloak.

"I don't need it, you or you money, but most of all, I don't need your pitty!"

"I was just trying to be nice."

"Go fuck yourself! Your such a stuck up asshole, just...leave me alone!" she added, a single lone tear falling, leaving a wet trail on her check.

Whoa! He had never seen Evans cry before, come to think of it, no one had.

"Lily, I..."

"Oh, now you know my name! What ever happened to all those _lovely_ little names? Lets see, what were they again? Refresh my memory will you? No? Oh well let me help: Fire, Red, Tiger, Fire Bug, _John_! Just to name a few."

"Shut up and the bloody cloak, I won't have you get sick over my stupidity."

She just stood there, a look of shock on her face. "Well don't act as if it's the end of the world, it's just a cloak."

"But, what about you?"

"Oy! Evans stop thinking about everyone else for once and take the cloak." he said still holding it out for her. "Good." he added as she took the cloak. "Now, what's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Ya and I'm a basilisk. Common, no one in history has ever seen Lily Evans cry."

"Your such an ass, and if you tell any..."

"I wasn't rubbing it in your face or anything," he interrupted, "I was simply just insinuating it."

"If you must know, my parents past away!" she yelled, "they were murdered...by you-know-who!"

"Don't be afraid Lily, it's just a name, go on, say it."

'N-no!"

"Lily, what good will come from saying: you-know-who?"

"Well no good will come from saying his name either." she replied logically.

"What I meant was that saying his name isn't gonna do anything. I mean, it's not like he'll hear you and get mad or something. Besides, not saying his name only adds to your fears."

"I'm not scared you bloody pig, will you stop saying that. Oh and thank you so much Dr. Know it all, for your insight."

"Hey, I'm only trying to help!" he said indigently. "Besides, I know...I know how it feels." he added, now seemingly very interested in the snowy ground bellow his feet.

"Oh and how can _you_ possibly know how it feels to have everything taken away from you with just a simple little letter, to be left with nothing, which irronically was also the result of an other letter that changed my life forevermore. With no home to go to for summer break, no parents, no sister, no one to love you?"

"Because my parents were also murdered!" he yelled, his face mingled with sadness and furry.

"I'm..I'm sorry, I had no idea."

"Don't be, it's not your fault."

"LILY!" someone yelled out from a distance.

She looked up, only to see Remus running in they're direction. "Oh hi James. Lily, are you alright? I've been looking all over for you. Dumbledore just told me, I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you, but my mother was sick and I had to go to see her." He said, enveloping her in a huge hug, never letting go of her now fragile body, her legs now barely even supporting her weight. James just stood there, looking at them, a tinge of jealousy in the pit of his stomach.

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_When it gets cold outside and you got nobody to love You'll understand what I mean when I say There's no way we're gonna give up And like a little girl cries in the face of a monster that lives in her dreams Is there anyone out there cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe Is there anyone out there cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe_

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"Hello James." she said shyly as she entered the hospital wing. "I'm so sorry, it's all my fault..."

"You said my name." he said with a raspy voice, cutting her off.

"...I can't believe I let you get hypothermia because of me, yo u could have died and... uh, ya, so?"

"You never say my name."

"Neither do you, what's you point? And I'm so sorry." she repeated.

"Don't be, rather it was me than you, you've been through enough already. Besides Miss Gabrielle can have me cured by tomorrow, she's a good healer."

"What is that supposed to mean?" she asked, "I'm to weak to handle these kind of things?" she added at his confused face. She was clearly getting angry, funny, it's all he seemed able to do.

"No, I just meant..."

"That your better and you can handle these things but I'm to frail a thing to even comprehend? Let me remind you Potter, that I can whoop your arse in Quidditch."

"Back to last name basis?" he asked, getting out of his warm bed, it's sheets as white as the falling snow outside. His bare feet on the cold cement made him wince. He once more, was wearing nothing but his expensive silk boxers. He was limping as he advanced towards her, it was as if his weight was to much for him to carry, the sweat trickling down his front made it obvious that it took him a great deal just to stand. "Listen, I'm happy you came to make sure I was alright and all, but I'm bloody tiered so maybe you could come back later." he said his hand on her shoulder. Just then his legs gave way and he feel backwards onto the bed with Lily on top of him, who had, in a vain attempt, tried to help him.

There faces were inches apart. His mouth so close to her perfectly plump lips. His hand accidentaly rumbed against her abnormaly soft thigh and he felt himself go hard from under her. How could a simple touch make him so horny? And Evans on top of it all? She was a tomboy and nothing like the ditsy sex crazed girls he usually went for. If what she had told Remus was true, she was still a virgin, an annoyingly perfect girl who made his blood boil. And yet her body on top of his, their mouths not even an inch apart, her hot breath on his lips, was driving him mad!

He had never noticed before, how beautiful she was, like an angel, a perfect angel. He couldn't help it nor could he stop himself if he tried. He kissed her, she didn't even protest and even kissed him back.

"I got to go." she said getting up as fast as she could, running out of the hospital wing and leaving a dazed James behind her.

'Perfect, absolutly perfect.' he thought dreamly. 'Wait, what?' He couldn't have feelings for Evans, his arch nemesis, besides he didn't even know how to love, or be loved for that matter. Oh, but that kiss! He had felt something, and not just his manly hormones. 'But wait! He kissed Evans, he kissed her.' _She kissed you back_, the annoying little voice replied in his head, _why don't you be a man and just admit you like her?_ It continued. 'But what about Remus?' he answered. _What about him? He doesn't love her, he's just using her like you did with so many other girls, he knows he can't get close to her and could never be to her more than a monthly fling because of his illness_. The voice convinced him.

'So what your saying is that she'll realise she likes me more, break up with Remus and come running into my arms?'

_Precisely!_ The voice answered him.

"I really got to stop talking to myself." he said a loud.

"It's the first sign of insanity." laughed Remus as he came closer to his bed. "I distracted ol' Barty so I could come and see how your doing." he said a large smile on his lips. 'Oh good! That means he didn't see what happened.' James thought. Remus always had a smile on lately, even since he started going out with Lily. 'How can't he be happy? She lights up a room when she comes in.' he thought miserably.

"Great." he answered dully.

What was it? What was it she had felt? Not love, definatly not love. No one had ever truly loved her with the exception of her parents. She didn't know how to open up or even love. But what was the feeling taking over her body and everyone of her functions and movements? She felt like she was floating on air. James Potter, the scumbag womanizing prat had kissed her! And yet... she had kissed him back. How did he always manage to control her like that? She hated it, to be a puppet in a child's play. She thought angrily as she tried without success, to read the same paragraph she had been reading for the last half hour. She rolled onto her back, the warmth of her blankets consuming her as her anger slowly ebbed away, as she feel into a restless asleep.

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_What you are doing is screwing things up inside my head You should know better you never listened to a word I said Clutching your pillow and writhing in a naked sweat Hoping somebody someday will do you like I did_

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'Why? Why? WHY?!' he thought dramatically. Why did he have to fall for her? She's Remus's girl! 'That's it, I have to talk to her.' he thought making up his mind.

He's been out of the hospital wing for over a week and yet had only saw her once, not counting classes where she had sat in front, completely ignoring him. The heart grows fonder with absence.

He looked around the crowed, when suddenly he found what he sought for. A head of red was bobbing amongst the students. 'She always stuck up like a sore thumb.'

"LILY!" he screamed, making his way through the crowd to the wildly chattering Lily. As he got closer he saw her two best friends: Arabella and Guene, but then he noticed Remus who was at her side, laughing with the others with his arm protectively around Lily's waist. The sight made him angry, why couldn't he be the one holding her and making sure no harm would come her way?

"Evans, mind if I have a word." he asked, pretending nothing was out of the ordinary.

"What is it Potter? I'm all ears."

"Privately?"

"Oh alright, I'll catch up to you guys later, alright?" she asked as she made her way towards James.

"Well?" she asked expectantly.

"I was wondering, if your not doing anything Friday, if you'd like to go out with me?"

"What?!" she managed to choke out.

"Would you like to go out with me?" he repeated.

"Like on a date?"

"Ya on a date."

"Potter you moron! I'm going out with Remus,."

"I know, but couldn't you dump him for me?" he asked.

"That has got to be the most selfish thing I've ever heard, even for you!" she spat, "Remus is your best friend and you would treat him like this? Unbelievable!"

"I'm not being selfish, I'm doing something for myself, which is something I haven't done in a while. Besides I've never felt this way before, so I'm going with my gut."

"Your such an ass!"

"I'm sorry, but I felt something when we kissed and I'm not giving it up that easily."

"Will you be quiet! People will hear, as far as I'm concerned that never happened. So get over yourself." she said as she left, leaving behind, a stuned James.

He had never been turned down before, he didn't like. 'This isn't over!' he thought menacingly.

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_When it gets cold outside and you got nobody to love You'll understand what I mean when I say There's no way we're gonna give up And like a little girl cries in the face of a monster that lives in her dreams Is there anyone out there cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe Is there anyone out there cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe_

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"Good luck out there Lils, kick some butt!" said a very enthusiastic Remus giving Lily a short snog and a hug for luck.

"Thanks Remmy, I'll see ya later." she said waving to him as he made his way for the excited crowd. Once she lost sight of him in the electrified students who were hopping for an astonishing game, which they weren't to be disappointed, she headed for the changing rooms. She let out a soft slow sigh as she thought of the kiss Remus had left her with, that...was love. She loved Remus, she felt it with every fibre of her body, she felt it when ever she was around him, when they kissed, or hugged, groped, even talked.

Just then James came out of the shadows, where he had been leaning on the rough brick wall, waiting for her. His messy jet black hair had, of late, seemed even more untidy, if that was even possible.

"Hi James." she said a hint of annoyance in her voice.

"You thought about it?"

"No, and even if I had, the answer would still be the same."

"Would it?"

"Of course you cocky, self-absorbed bastard."

"Whoa Lils!"

"Don't call me that!" she snapped, "Remus calls me that!"

"I know, when ever he talks about you, which is always, he refers to you as Lils, guess it just rubbed off on me, sorry?" he added as an after thought.

"What ever, I got to go get changed."

"Lils? Uh Lily? Would you go out with me?" he asked for what was the fifth time that week.

"James, my answer will always be the same, no." she said exasperdly.

"But what if Remus knew." he asked, a sly grin on his face.

"What?!" she said spinning around to face him.

"What if I told Remus?" he repeated.

"First off, you kissed me, so he'd be angry at you."

"Yes but you kissed me back, don't deny it, and that's even worst." he said a triumphant smile on his gorgeous face.

"Are you blackmailing me Potter?" she asked, anger and temper slowly rising.

"What if I am?"

"You bloody bastard!"

"How about... you be my servant for a...let's say, a week, and I won't tell him?"

"Your servant? I'd rather tell him." she spat.

"Ah! Watch it Lilykins, wouldn't want to make me mad now would you? Besides it won't be that bad, do my charms homework, get my things..."

"Tell Remus and I'll brake that puny brain of yours with a bludger."

"Be my servant." he protested.

"Fine!" she yelled.

"Lily! Lily, PASS! I'm open!" yelled James to his fellow chaser, Lily. She chose to ignore him and pass the quaffle to Erin who got tackled by a Slytherin player.

"Penalty Gryffindor!" yelled the commentator Griffin Hopkins, one of Lily's friends.

"I'm sorry Potter, did you say something?" she asked, as James came to a stop next to her, blocking her from the crowd's view.

"Aw! Temper, you wouldn't want me to tell him, now would you?" he asked as Erin scored. His hand gently rubbing her thigh.

She shot him a death glare and went back to formation.

_Half an hour later_

"Oy! Lilykins!" yelled James.

She'd had enough, she went over to Sirius and grabbed his beaters club and sent an oncoming bludger James direction. "Oy! Lily, the hell you doing?" Sirius asked, "You can't just steal my club and you certainly can't hurt a fellow teammate, with or without said club. Although I have to say, your aim rocks! You should be a beater. I mean, you totally just knocked James unconsious and making him fall of his broom. Now I'm not for what you just did, but I bloody hell ain't against it either." he said nudging her in the arm.

"Uh, ya thanks Sirius." she answered with a triumphant smile. 'Remus had told her to kick some ass, he just never specified which.' she thought laughing a loud.

_Later that week _

"Lily! Fluff my pillow." ordered James who was lounging on the couch.

"Do it yourself you lazy prat!"

"Aw! Temper my little Fire, you know our arrangement." he threatened.

"Ugh! Fine." she said, getting up. She pulled the pillow from underneath his head, which caused his head to land on the armrest with a loud thud.

"Hollow head." she commentated. "There, anything else?" she asked rudely.

"Ahem!"

"Anything else my lord?" she rephrased with a mock bow.

"How about a little kiss?"

"Go fuck yourself, only two more days left you miserable sap, enjoy them while they last."

"I plan to." he said as she hit him upside the head. "Hey, I'm injured here, no thanks to you. Now be a good girl and fetch me an apple."

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_Does it kill _

_Does it burn _

_I__s it painful to learn _

_That it's me that has all the control_

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_2 weeks later_

"_Aw James, it's you I love, I can't believe I hadn't noticed it before. I'm so sorry, will...will you take me?" she asked._

"_I love you, I always have and always will."_

"_Please...please hold me, I'm so cold."_

"_Why don't you get your boyfriend, Remus, to do it for you?" he asked suddenly angry._

"_But James, I love you, I sacrificed so much just to be with you, please hold me, don't let go!" she said frantically, tears streaming down her face. She couldn't believe he didn't want her any more, this couldn't be!_

"_Lily, how could you do this to me?" asked Remus, "I thought you loved me? Make up your mind you bitch!"_

_She had never seen Remus this mad, nor cuss before, especially towards her. She turned to look at James who was snogging some brunette. "No, no, no, James please, don't do this to me, look at what I left behind for you, please hold me."_

"_Nah, your yesterday's news, the thrill just isn't there anymore." he said as he went back to his snogging._

"_No, please, hold me!" she cried. _

She took in a sharp breath as she opened her eyes in a cold naked sweat. 'What an odd dream,' she thought as she sat up, 'I should really not eat before going to bed.'

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She sat down at the back of the class today, not wanting to be anywhere near James. Everyone around her was talking admidly to each other, as their ghost of a teacher Binns, continued his lecture, not even noticing the hustle and bustle of the going ons in his classroom.

She looked at James. His weekly fling was running her hands through his messy black hair as they snogged, completly forgeting they were surrounded by people. 'I want to be the one to put my hands trough his just-got-out-of-bed, hair.' she thought. An image of James in vine red boxers came into her mind. Sweat running down his perfectly shaped body, slowly making it's way down his stomach and ripped muscles, only to land on the expensive silk and leaving behind a wet trace. 'Evans, snap out of it!' she thought, mentally kicking herself.

"Evans, don't forget about practice tonight!" he yelled as his girlfriend played with his cock from under the table. James had placed himself at an angle, he was sure she would see. A smile spread on his face as he saw her digusted expression.

"Ok, great practice guys, that's it for tonight." yelled James to his teammates.

"Ya so like I was saying, these frogs just appeared out of nowhere and..."

"Blackeney, great out there." interrupted James. "Evans, a word?"

"I'll see ya later Erin. You can finish your story during H.O.B tomorrow, I want to know about those frogs." she finished sending James a death glare.

"Whoa, don't look at me like that. I was just gonna say that you should take a shower, you stink! Oh by the way, the hell's hob?"

"H.O.B! It's history of boredom, you idiot, and thanks." she said slamming the door to the girls changing room.

He stood there, looking at the girls only sign, when he made up his mind and went inside. It was a good thing Lily was the only girl on the team, or else he'd have some serious explaining to do. It was humoungous! Everything in sight was a bright cheery yellow. He sat down on a bench and waited for Lily to get out of the shower.

He was just starting to wonder if she'd be in there all night, when she came out wearing nothing but a short towel that really showed her curves.

'Oh...my...God...Thank you!' he thought. 'She's still wet and dripping, oh dear god, I hope I'm not foaming at the mouth right about know. Wait stay down, please stay down, why am I getting so hard over this? I've seen a million of naked girls before and she's only in a towel. Go down, go down, uh oh, she's gonna kill me, oh no, I'm spotted, going down, calling for backup, eep! Help!'

"What the hell are you doing Potter? Were you spying on me?" she asked trying to control her temper.

"N-no, I just wanted to talk." why was she making him nervous? James Potter, nervous? Ha! That's a joke.

"Go ahead, I'm all ears."

"You know life's a bitch! When you think about it, this is probably hell and we've got to go through hell before we can get to heaven..."

"Um, if you wanted to talk to me about your philosophy on life, you could have waited till I was dressed or something." she said cutting him, seeing no point to what he had been saying.

"I'm not finished! My point is that life without you is hell, especially when I know I can't touch you, kiss you, and barely even talk to you." he said, getting closer to her with every word.

She swallowed down a lump forming in her throat. He was now so close she could feel his breath on her check. "To touch your wonderful red hair and gaze into your deep green eyes. To touch your perfectly plump lips." he continued gently rubbing her lips with is thumb.

He draped an arm around her warm waist, he felt her stiffen under his touch.

"James, don't."

"Why? Cuz you know you won't be able to resist me?" he asked huskily.

She wasn't sure if her brain had stoped working or if she was sick, but she did the only thing she could think of...she kissed him.

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_Does it thrill _

_Does it sting _

_When you feel what I bring_

_And you wish that you had me to hold_

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Years later, as she sat in front of her window, looking out to the inviting white snow, memories of what had been flashed in front of her eyes and tears obscured her vision.

"You shouldn't be afraid to say his name." he said, "It only adds to your fears."

Truth was, she was afraid, living in fear, never leaving her house in the middle of the country. Every winter, spending her days by the window, looking out at her favourite trees: the weeping willows. James would get worried when ever she did this, but he was protecting her and their baby. There was nothing else he could do, and they knew they couldn't leave the house, or else he would have brought her outside, under the weeping willows, just so he could see her smile, a real smile, even if it was only for a couple of minutes.

She gave everything up for him, freedom, her sole, who she was, education, love.

A chill past through her already cold body as she hugged her knees tighter, her eyes never once leaving the snowy exterior, as a lone tear slowly made it's way down her check to rest on an old piece of parchment in her hands, a letter.

_Dear Lily,_

_I understand your desision, I wish I could change it, but as I see and know, there's no changing your mind. I wish you the best, all I want is your happiness, but remember that I will always love you. I will always think of you and I will never hold you responsible. Well, I guess this is goodbye my love._

_Yours forever_

_Remus Lupin_

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_When it gets cold outside and you got nobody to love You'll understand what I mean when I say There's no way we're gonna give up And like a little girl cries in the face of a monster that lives in her dreams Is there anyone out there cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe Is there anyone out there cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe_

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_The end_

A/N: really long, but I've been working on it for a while now and so I wanted to post it. My um, is it third now? Third song fic. Thanks a lot to: , who reviewed everyone of my song fics. You rock girl, it's dedicated to you. This one's a little bit different, and well kinda sexual at parts so the ratings quite high. Hope you all enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed writing it, but you better leave a review, I know you read it! I know you did! Review.

Love lot's

Josie G. Evans


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